Useful Definitions.



ADULT:                                 A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

HAIRDRESSERS:                 A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:                         Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:                           The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:                      A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours (except WI committees, of course - Ed).

DUST:                                    Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:                              Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP:                                 A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF:               Cold storage.

INFLATION:                         Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:                         An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:                                 Grape with sunburn.

SECRET:                                Something you tell to one person at a time.

TOOTHACHE:                     The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:                      One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

YAWN:                                  An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:                          Something other people have. You have character lines.


Thanks to Janet Butler, Bradford on Avon WI for These. (W.I. = Women’s Institute)




And finally!

When you check in at the airport gate, why do they ask  'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?  

If someone put it in without your knowledge, how would you know?